DNF'd

A Disappointment of DNFs: Radical Self Love

25559480 Radical Self Love: A Guide to Loving Yourself and Living Your Dream by Gala Darling is this month’s addition to the disappointment of DNFs.

Goodreads summary:

Have you ever dreamed of a life full of laughter, love and sequins… But felt totally clueless about how to make it happen? You’re not alone. I spent years in soul-sucking jobs, battling depression, an eating disorder, and a preference for chaos and disaster, simply because I didn’t know how to create the life I dreamed about.
In RADICAL SELF LOVE, you’ll begin to discover exactly what makes you so magnificent, and you’ll uncover a litany of tools and techniques to help you manifest a life that bursts with magic, bliss and adventure.

“How much of a book do you have to read before you can consider it ‘Read’?”

I’m about ¾ of the way through Radical Self Love (and I skipped the sex and relationships chapter, because I’m asexual and single) and I just don’t see it improving. I tried. I really did.

I used to read the author’s blog in 2007, and from her book, it sounds like she hasn’t grown up at all. That was nine years ago, and she still uses way, way too many exclamation points. While reading, I thought to myself, Wow, it’s a good thing I don’t drink, because “take a shot every time she uses an exclamation point” would probably kill a horse.

I should’ve known then to give it up and put it down, but I slogged on. “Slog” is a word I should never use to describe reading someone who isn’t Michel Foucault or Judtih Butler. I should be breezing through a cotton candy book like this, not slogging.

… but, slog I did. I guess I kept hoping it would get better? I was really looking forward to the “Daily Magic” section, because I’m into this whole witch aesthetic but I’m not especially magical myself.

I went in expecting tarot and crystals. What I got was the law of attraction, and let me tell you, that is some serious B.S.

Another blog I used to read, Feministing, has a good post up about the victim blaming inherent in the law of attraction. Darling says at one point that, if you’re assaulted or abused, it’s not your fault because “nobody asks for that,” but a chapter later says that if your relationship with your boyfriend is bad, it’s because you unconsciously want to “prove” to yourself that men are untrustworthy.

What I wanted to talk about, re: the law of attraction, is what it does to my obsessive-compulsive problems. Two years ago, I wrote about how I’m “a little OCD.” Well, one feature of my obsessive thoughts is that “bad things will happen if I think bad thoughts.” Since that is, essentially, wha the law of attraction is all about – usually phrased/framed the other way, “good things will happen if you think good thoughts” – it is bad, bad news for my mental illness.

I’m in a safe place now. I don’t think God will kill my cat if I think a mean thought about a stranger, but I really don’t need any encouragement in that direction, either.

Self help should help.

 

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